Flu Shot
by Wu the Stoic
Summary: Duo isn't too keen on getting his yearly flu shot. Rating for language.


Don't own GW or anything in this fic, just a story, you know the drill.

* * *

Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously as his body filled the breakroom doorway, effectively blocking Duo from even the idea of escape. Duo, clueless as to the events unfolding, slowly lifted his head from doctoring his coffee and arched one brow.

"Whatever it was… it wasn't me," the braided Preventer said slowly. Surely there had to have been some mistake of identity to get Heero to look so determined yet so enraged at him.

"That's not it," Heero said in a firm, tight tone. "We have received information."

" _And_ ," Duo responded, dragging out the word as the spoon clinked into the ceramic mug. "I said whatever it was, it wasn't me. I've been here all day." He tilted his head as Trowa came to join Heero in the doorway. Shifting his stance, Duo put his back to the coffee maker and frowned. "Let's see, you two are the tallest of our group and you're now blocking the holy shit, its flu shot day! HELL NO!" This was the punishment he got every year since he had hacked into the medical database and falsified his shot records. He'd gotten so sick without the vaccination that he'd actually had to be placed in ICU for a week before they could get him well again. Now his flu shot was a time honored tradition.

"Whatever you do, don't let him get by you," Heero said grimly as he stepped into the room. He had to get to Duo before the braided wonder had the presence of mind to throw the hot coffee at him. Duo, eyes wide in growing alarm, only set the cup down and began to inch along the counter away from Heero.

"Oh no, no way am I getting a flu shot!" Duo barked as he continued to keep a respectable distance between himself and Heero. "Every time I get one I get the _flu_! Why the hell should I have to pay to get sick!?"

"That's all in your mind, Duo."

"So's the aches, pains and general miserable… ness of the whole mess! No flu shot!"

"It's all in your head," Heero repeated through a clenched jaw as Duo continued to move away from him. "Yes, flu shot!"

"No, no flu shot!" Duo hissed as he turned to aim towards Trowa. He'd plow past him if he had to, but he realized that his friend had squared himself off in the doorway. "So, that's how it's going to be, is it?" he asked as his voice dropped down into a cold and calculating tone. It was the voice he used when he was about to unleash Shinigami onto his enemy and Heero felt a slight tremor running down his legs. He hadn't heard that voice in nearly eight years.

"So it seems," Trowa answered in a cool and calculated tone.

"You know you're forcing my hand here," Duo quipped in a light hearted manner, though his expression belied anything light hearted at all.

"I'm aware of that," Trowa said calmly.

Duo sprang nimbly to his right as Heero took the opportunity of Duo's bantering with Trowa to launch at him. He ducked down quickly to avoid hands that could still bend steel, although after all these years, Heero was starting to become a bit predictable in his attacks. Grabbing a chair from the table, Duo flung it back behind him as a stall to keep the ex-Wing pilot from grabbing him. Trowa continued to stand in the doorway, wanting to help, but knowing it was best to continue to block the only exit out of the break room.

"Get… over here… NNGH!" Heero growled. Duo had dove beneath the table and Heero's mistake had been to grab only one ankle. Duo had the ability to kick like a mule and wasn't below giving his lover the full barrel of the blast, either.

"Leggo my ankle, Heero! I refuse to get a flu shot!"

" _Everyone_ has to get one, it's Preventer policy and you… nnngh… ow! And you know it!"

"All I know is if you don't leggo my leg _right_ now, I'm going to start chewing your arm until I gnaw the damn thing off!"

"Duo… nnngh… I said to stop this foolishness! You're acting like a child!"

"I'm acting like a child that don't want to get a damn flu shot!" Duo said as he desperately clung to the table leg. He, and it, were slowly dragged a few feet before Heero gave up and dove beneath it to try to dislodge his braided lover from his so called fortress.

"What in the world is going on?" Quatre asked slowly as he stood at Trowa's back.

Trowa turned his head over his shoulder. "Duo's scheduled for a flu shot…"

"Oh dear," Quatre said quietly. "Well… have fun guys. And don't forget your tetanus booster. I had to have one last year because he bit me."

"Hated to do it, Quat, but I warned ya!" Duo called back.

"Duly noted," Quatre said as he saluted the group with the papers he was holding and turned to get back to work. "Don't forget his curse jar tally! We can still make Hawaii!" he tossed back in passing. Trowa smirked, Heero grunted and Duo groaned.

"Traitor!" Duo cried out, and then groaned again as Heero gripped him by the back of the pants and slowly drug him out from under the table. His fingers made a soft squeaking sound as he frantically tried to make purchase on the smooth floor.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Heero grunted as he manhandled Duo into a standing position.

"No. No I'm not. I'm tired of telling you guys year after year that I get sick when I get a flu shot. Then you shoot back that it's all in my head, _then_ , when you _force_ me to get it, I'm either puking my guts out, or shitting so much my poor little O-ring needs a week alone just to recover. _Then_ , we won't mention the fever, the chills, the sleeplessness, the too much sleep, the aches in all my joints and the telekinetic powers."

"You don't have telekinetic powers," Heero frowned. He was busy trying to keep Duo upright. Duo, however, was thinking perhaps the "Dead Weight" game was more in order and was slowly succumbing to the wooing of gravity.

"Yeah I do," Duo grinned as Heero continued to fight to keep him upright. "I whine and point at something and you bring it to me. That sounds like a super power to _me_."

"Sounds like a super power Quatre seems to attain from time to time," Trowa said thoughtfully.

Duo sighed suddenly and straightened up. "Well, no sense in putting this off. I'll just put in for sick time when I start getting the sniffles in…" he glanced at his watch. "Twenty four hours from now. I'll be able to work through the rest of the day and then convalesce at home until I'm feeling human again."

Heero shot Trowa a look, and then relaxed, although marginally. "We're still walking you to the med-unit."

"Fine, fine," Duo said in an airy tone as he walked towards Trowa, who stood aside to let the braided agent pass him through the door. Heero moved with Duo, one hand on the back of his gun belt.

"Honestly, Heero, you act as if you don't trust me," Duo sniffed.

"I just drug you and the table four feet across the floor," Heero said dryly.

"Flirt. I think you're just using this as an excuse to grope me at work."

Trowa grumbled a soft chuckle as he moved to Duo's left, and together, the three turned a corner and began their long walk towards the elevator banks.

"When I get sick," Duo said.

"It's all in your mind," Heero spoke over him. His mistake was to trade the grip he had on the back of Duo's gun belt in lieu of pressing his fingers to the small of his back.

" _When_ I get sick," Duo interrupted Heero's interrupting of him. "I want your chicken noodle soup, Trowa. That's the only stuff that doesn't taste like hot dead ass that's been left out in the sun for a week."

"And how would _you_ know what that tastes like?" Heero smirked.

"Hey, I grew up on L2, 'member?"

"Ah," Heero said wisely. "Stop dragging your feet, Duo. I thought you wanted to get this over with."

"Hey, it's like being led to my own execution, you know!" Duo barked.

"No, if we had to do that, you'd be hogtied."

"Ha… ha ha ha…" Duo said slowly. "Welp, this is where I get off, see you at home, Heero!" and with the speed of a child who grew up on the streets, Duo bolted away from them.

"Damnit, Duo!" Heero barked and took off after him. "You're getting that shot!"

"Noooooo!" Duo cried out as he rounded the turn on the right at the elevators.

"He's heading for the stairs; I'll try to block him off. You go down to the ground floor," Trowa ordered.

"Got it," Heero said as he bolted left for the other staircase.

Boots thundered past cubicles, and now and again, Duo would cast a frenzied glance behind him, only to see Trowa gaining on him. He doubled back, going through more cubicles, trying to keep the acrobat off his trail, but Trowa was tenacious. At least Heero was out of the way. Duo would rather deal with the clown than the perfect soldier.

"Duo! Get back here!"

"Damn, he's not even out of breath," Duo marveled as he ran down a long hallway. Trowa was gaining on him and he panicked.

"Duo!"

"UNCLE STICKY AND UNCLE BAD-TOUCH WANT TO SHOVE THEIR NEEDLE INTO ME!" he cried out as he bolted past the interrogation room. The man sitting across from Zechs began to sweat, so the pale blond smirked, leaned forward and used it to his advantage.

* * *

Duo regained consciousness on the gurney in the med-unit, and then let out a long, low groan. "Wha' happened?" he murmured thickly.

"You were running from Trowa and me," Heero answered as his face came into view.

Duo grumbled as he reached up to push his bangs back from his face. "My throat hurts…"

"It should," Heero said. "But they've X-rayed you, you'll be fine. You can go home in a few hours."

"What… _happened_?" Duo asked again, still dazed. "Did I get hit by a truck or somethin'?"

"No. Wufei clotheslined you," Heero answered. There was a faint, yet smug smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. "And by the way, you got your flu shot."

"I'll get you back for this, Heero. So help me… you will pay. You will know my wrath. You will know what it's like to mess with me! The god of death! You'll pay for this Heero!" With Duo's voice hoarse from the rough treatment of his friends forearm, the threats didn't carry the weight they normally did.

"That's fine with me," Heero said, his smirk growing larger.

"What's so damn funny?" Duo snarled.

"You owe the curse jar forty eight dollars and fifty cents for your little tantrum today. I think we just _might_ be able to get that trip to Hawaii after all."

"Asshole."

"Make that forty eight dollars and _seventy five_ cents."

"Traitor…" Duo grumbled.


End file.
